


Dorito Bagels

by urdearestmom



Series: moments of half-clarity [2]
Category: The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: M/M, i love popchyk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-28 00:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14437212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urdearestmom/pseuds/urdearestmom
Summary: "Might I ask why there's Doritos everywhere?""No."





	Dorito Bagels

**Author's Note:**

> Another work for this fandom! I love these boys so much (and Popchyk too because who doesn't) so here is some nice domestic boreo for you :)

Theo had thought that maybe today might be an ok day. Turns out, it looks like it’s going to be the opposite. He wakes up on the couch in the living room with a massive headache, sunlight pouring in the windows, and no Boris to be found. He’s also covered only by a blanket but he can hear the dryer going so he must have put his clothes into the laundry sometime last night, although he doesn’t remember it.

Upon sitting up, Theo feels the need to barf so he runs to the bathroom as quickly as he can before he throws up. While he’s busy with his head in the toilet, Popper comes into the small room and sits on the floor next to him.

“What’s up, Popchyk?” Theo says, wiping his mouth as he stands. He flushes the toilet, then turns the tap for a quick rinse. His mouth tastes  _horrible._ “Where’s Boris?” The small dog turns and sniffs the air outside the door as if smelling Boris out of wherever he’s hiding. It’s then, as Theo looks down at Popchyk, that he notices the dog has a patch of orange fur.

He leans down to take a closer look, his head spinning. It almost looks like… cheese dust?  _What the fuck?_ “Boris! Where are you, asshole?”

There's no answer. Theo just shrugs and decides that Boris must have gone home, for whatever reason. "Let's get you cleaned up, ok?" He says to Popchyk, scooping him up and into the sink. Popchyk's fur is dirty anyway, even without the addition of whatever the fuck that orange shit is, so Theo thinks it's probably a good idea to give him a bath. Cleanliness of dogs' fur affects their health, right?

When that's done, Theo takes Popchyk with him into the kitchen to make breakfast. He takes some ibuprofen for his headache and then sets out to find something edible. He’s buttering a rare find in this house, a bagel, when the dryer goes off, alerting him to the fact that the cycle is done. It’s then that Theo remembers he’s actually butt naked, but it doesn’t really concern him since apparently he’s home alone. Regardless, he makes his way to the machines near the back of the house and takes out his warm clothes. As he slips his shorts on, he notices a trail of orange on the carpet leading to the stairs, at the foot of which Popchyk is sitting, looking expectantly at him.

“What do you want, boy? What’s this? The same stuff that was in your fur?” It definitely looks like it. But the question still stands: what is it?

Theo has a feeling that whatever it is has something to do with the suspiciously missing Boris Pavlikovsky. He stands at the foot of the stairs next to Popchyk and sees what must have caught the dog's attention. There's more orange on the steps, this time with the addition of some crumbs.

"That fucking fuckhead," Theo grumbles, starting to make his way up with Popchyk at his heels. "Been eating chips without me.  _BORIS!"_  There's still no answer, but as Theo bears down on his bedroom he sees a continuation of the orange trail disappear right under the door. It's of no surprise to him when, upon opening the door, the other boy is curled up on his usual side of the bed. What strikes Theo is the ridiculous amount of Doritos bags surrounding him.

"Boris!" He doesn't stir, simply letting out a small snuffle that warms Theo's heart ( _not_  that he would ever admit it). Theo looks around for something to throw and alights upon a book on the floor, which happens to be Boris' copy of  _The Idiot_. Boris is lucky it's a paperback, because it clips him right in the nose and he jolts up in bed with a yell.

"What the fuck, Potter?" He asks groggily, rubbing his face.

Theo crosses his arms. "Might I ask why there's Doritos everywhere?"

“No." Boris flops back onto the bed and shoves his head under his pillow, a few errant bits of hair sticking out. Popchyk trots over and sits at the head, whining until Boris snakes an arm over the side and brings him up to lie next to him.

“How did you even get this many chips?”

“I have been stealing some bags sometimes and hiding them in your house in case we are hungry.”

“We’re always hungry,” Theo says. Boris only gives him the finger in response. “Come on, there’s food in the kitchen and I’m making breakfast.”

Boris lets out a noise that sounds halfway between a snort and a cough, due to its being muffled by the pillow. “Is three in the afternoon, stupid.”

“Is not.” Theo looks at the clock in the corner of his room. “It’s 2:59.”

“Wow, big difference.”

Theo sighs and uncrosses his arms, walking over to hop onto his side of the bed. He sits facing Boris, crossing his legs before pulling the pillow off the other boy’s head. Boris glares at Theo for a few moments before lifting his head from the mattress and promptly dropping it in Theo’s lap. Theo’s hand reflexively makes its way into Boris’ hair, twisting and entangling itself in the dark mess.

It’s a position they find themselves in often, usually when they’re high and feeling cuddly, but sometimes just when Boris needs comfort and it’s all Theo can really offer. Boris is more touchy, so when it’s Theo that needs to be comforted he has no issues with hugging and cuddling up. Theo, on the other hand, doesn’t like to touch other people if he can avoid it, so combing his fingers through his friend’s hair is a good compromise.

“Come on,” Theo says softly. “I was buttering a bagel before I came up.”

Boris’ eyes are closed but he smiles. “I stole them.”

“What?”

He opens them. “This morning. I wake up and you are asleep but I am hungry, so I go to the store. Bought milk and stole some bagels in my coat. Thought you might like them.”

Theo shakes his head fondly. “You’re going to get yourself arrested one day. I thought Xandra bought them.”

Boris laughs a quiet, raspy laugh. “Xandra, she is hot but she is not very smart. Spends all money on cocaine instead of food.”

“I guess she does,” Theo answers contemplatively. “Well, whether you stole them or not, the bagels aren’t going to eat themselves.”

Boris sighs; a long and heavy sigh, before getting up off the bed, scooping Popchyk onto the floor, and walking out of the room. Theo follows their dog down the hall, inadvertently eyeing the lines of Boris’ back as he stretches on his way down the stairs. He’s not wearing a shirt, his jeans riding low on his hips, and Theo can’t help but stare. Boris is captivating in a skinny, malnourished-looking sort of way. Theo doesn’t know what to make of it. Sometimes Boris is the most beautiful person in the world and other times he’s the ugliest, and it confuses Theo even more than usual. He decides not to think about it.

When Theo arrives in the kitchen, Boris is already knocking back a can of beer. He stops to watch as a drop of the liquid travels down the other boy’s neck and catches on his protruding collarbone. Boris wipes his mouth and turns to Theo with a leering grin. “What you are staring at, Potter?”

Theo punches him hard in the arm before heading to the counter to butter another bagel. “How skinny you are, you look like a skeleton. Also, how and why the fuck did you get Dorito dust all over the fucking carpet? Xandra’s going to kill us both,” he says, slopping some butter onto the fresh bun.

Boris pushes himself onto the counter next to Theo, swinging his feet. “Is not important. I do not even remember, you see? We just have to clean it,” he answers, shrugging.

Theo thrusts the bagel in Boris’ direction. “Eat,” he commands, reaching for his own bread and taking a bite out of it. It’s only as he’s chewing that he realizes he was actually ravenous.

Boris watches him eat for a moment before laughing. “What are you laughing at, you fuck?” Theo asks through a mouthful of bagel.

“We are like husband and wife, you and me, Potter,” Boris says. Theo almost chokes. “Always you are telling me we have to clean up, you did it just now! And you make food, make sure I am eating. But I am the one who brings the food. You see?”

Theo swallows, holding back a cough. “First of all-” the cough comes out anyway, “-that’s some misogynistic bullshit right there, and second, I’m not a girl!”

Boris shrugs again. “Does not matter. Same thing I am trying to say.”

“You’re fucked in the head, you know that?” Theo retorts. “You’re cleaning up the mess you made by yourself.”

“See! Wife!”

Theo glares. “Still not a girl!”

“Husband, then, if you have such problem with it.”

“Oh my  _god_ , Boris, that’s not what I fucking  _meant._ ”

“What did you mean, then?” Boris asks, a challenging glint in his eye.

Theo shakes his head. “I’m getting a divorce and Popchyk is coming with me.”

Boris places a hand over his heart in mock offence. “But you say we are not married! How can you get a divorce?”

“Irrelevant.”

“You’re  _irrelevant_ ,” Boris scoffs. “Snaps likes me better. Don’t you, Pop?”

Popchyk immediately starts jumping, swiping at Boris’ feet. Boris leans down to catch him under the forelegs, lifting the dog into his arms and nuzzling into his fur. Popchyk pants happily and Boris sends Theo a one-eyed look that says,  _I win._

“Okay, fine, you can keep the dog,” Theo acquiesces, taking another bite of bagel. “But fuck you if you think I’m helping you clean that mess.”

Boris throws an arm in the air.  _“Ischézni!”_

“It’s my house!”


End file.
